


Things in Closets

by misura



Category: Fastlane
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, Costume Kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 23:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3152138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"You own a nurse's costume?" Deaq asked.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things in Closets

"You own a nurse's costume?" Deaq asked, holding up the item in question. 

"It's not a costume, all right?" Van reached - Deaq stepped back, grinning, keeping the clothes well out of grabbing range. "It's just a set of clothes. You know, for when I need to go undercover. What, you don't have some different sets of your clothes at your crib? Your shirts all look the same?"

"This - " Deaq held up the costume, " - is not a shirt, all right? This is not some thing you throw on when you go undercover, don't give me that, man. I mean, what, you gonna be Doctor Van all of a sudden? Gonna be walking around in a hospital with one of those clipboard thingies and everything?"

"I could do that," Van said. "I mean, hey, we need to get into a hospital, I can get us into a hospital. It's called being prepared. Maybe you could look into that some time."

"It's a _nurse's costume_ , genius. As in: for a nurse. As in: not a doctor."

Van scowled. "Look, man, you were the one who brought up the whole Doctor Van thing. So, hey, fine, you got me. We need to get into a hospital, I'm going in as a low-ranking nurse, not a surgeon. Congratulations, Detective Hayes. You cracked this case right open. Now, can we focus on finding what we're actually looking for? Which is a very expensive watch, in case you've forgotten."

"No, no." Deaq shook his head. "Can we just ... hang on here for a bit? Seriously, let's talk about this. Because I'm dying to know - _seriously_ dying, if you actually mean that, or if you're simply, I don't know, shy or something? A little embarrassed, maybe?"

"What, like you were when I found your stash of superhero comics?" Van asked. "You want to talk about that some more? Fine, let's talk about that some more."

"Those were not just any old superhero comics, all right?" Deaq said. "Those were the classics. And hey, what do you think's freakier: an appreciation for some of the finer works of American literature, or a fetish for dressing up like someone who professionally stabs people with needles and takes their temperature and stuff? I mean, what about that, exactly, screams 'sexy' to you?"

"It's not a - are you deaf? Have you heard _anything_ I told you just now?"

Deaq shrugged. "You do a lot of talking, sure. You're selling it real hard. But guess what? I ain't buying. So you got a thing for asking your dates to change into some itty-bitty costume and pretend they're there out of concern for your healthy, so what? I don't judge. Long as everyone's having fun, it's all good, know what I'm saying?"

Van frowned. "Didn't you just say it was freaky?"

"Ah." Deaq smirked and tossed the costume on the bed. "So it _is_ something kinky. I _knew_ it. None of this, 'oh, I know, let's go undercover as a member of the hospital staff' bull. Nuh-uh."

"God, you should be with the police or something. Oh, wait."

Deaq sat down. "Look, only reason I'm giving you a hard time is because you try too hard. Someone finds your porn stash, you try to pretend it's for, like, a school project or something? No. You man up. You're _honest_. I'm your partner. Do I _want_ to know what turns you on? The hell I do."

"Wouldn't fit you, anyway," Van said. Rather emphatically missing the point, as far as Deaq was concerned.

"Nice try. Is this the part where I tell you I'm not _fat_ and we safely move away from the topic of your obsession with medical personnel?"

Van shrugged and pulled open a drawer of socks. "Sounds good to me. And it's not an _obsession_. More, like - every now and then, I like something a little different, all right?"

"Something a little bit freaky, you mean." Deaq grinned.

"Is this the part where I tell you to either put out or shut up?" Van asked. "Because, sure, we can do that. You want to play chicken - fine, let's play chicken."

"You do realize that's not an actual game, right? I mean, what, I put on the costume, you try and keep your hands off of me? Like that's gonna be any kind of fun for me?"

"Hey." Van raised his hands. "You don't think you can handle it, fine."

"I can handle it," Deaq said. "Question is: can you? This fine ass right here, topped off with that costume. What do you think his chances are, doc? 'cause I'm thinking they're not good. Not good at all."

"Ten bucks say I walk out of here half an hour from now, fully dressed," Van said.

"Twenty bucks say no way, José." Deaq reached for his shirt. "You're on, sport."

"Still got to find that watch, though." Van sighed. "This sucks. I mean, _now_ she wants to see me wear that stupid watch?"

"You hadn't gone and lost it before, had you? Happily, I got something that should cheer you right up, turn that frown upside down."

"That's real cute." Van shook his head. "I _know_ I saw it somewhere around here."

"Real cute, he says. I'll show you what's real cute." Deaq's socks joined his pants. In theory, he supposed he might have kept them on, but he figured that since he was doing this, he might as well go all the way in. No holding back. Full speed ahead, and make sure to delete the pictures off of Van's phone later. "You ready for this? 'cause you'd better be."

Van turned and looked at him.

Deaq posed. It was an okay costume if you were into those kinds of things, he supposed; definitely a strong emphasis on the itty-bitty part, and not so much on the practical and professional one. Anyone trying to pass him- or herself off as an actual nurse in this would probably be carted off straight to the psych ward to have their heads checked.

"Well? What do you think? Think you can hold back getting some of this for thirty minutes?"

Van produced a sound somewhere in between a smothered cough and a -

"Oh no, you did _not_ ," Deaq said.

Van's shoulders were shaking, which probably - no, make that _definitely_ meant that yeah, he did.

"Whatever, man. You still gonna owe me ten bucks."

"Yeah," Van said, looking up. Still laughing at Deaq with his eyes. "But, you see, I bet Billie fifty bucks I'd be able to get you to wear that thing, so I'm still coming out ahead."

"We have serious trust issues in our relationship, you know that?"

"Turnabout's fair play, man," Van said. "Remember the cowboy boots?"

"If you mean: is there going to be payback for this, then hell yeah," Deaq said, and then, because he did, in fact, remember the cowboy boots, "So what kind of stuff does turn you on, anyway?"


End file.
